Finding Balance

I’m sorry…it’s been far too long and it seems as though every post I write starts with an apology. I’m sorry about that. Oops, there I go again;)

My life is mostly crazy and for those of you who know me personally know that it’s actually always crazy. Having four kids and a hubby away half the month will do that I guess. Not to mention, having twin boys who are now toddlers. Toddlers that like to try everything, throw everything, spit on everything (am I alone on this one?!?), stand on everything, hit each other, bite each other and well, basically, you get the picture right?  Also, two older children who are involved in sports and school and are just as busy as the younger two but in a much more organized and civilized way. Am I painting a delightful picture for you? Most people think that being married to a pilot is a glamorous lifestyle … if you still think that … read above just one more time. And, to think that half the month I am the lone soldier on the field. I’m the one putting out all the fires … ALONE. Now, don’t get me wrong, my hubby is my best supporter. He is my rock and is always cheering me on. But really, it’d be better if he could also join me out on the field more often so I wouldn’t feel outnumbered most of the time. Needless to say, I was lacking balance in my life.

Balance … what does that even mean? In amongst all the chaos I always felt like my life was spiralling out of control. Do you know the feeling of celebrating just making it through the day? I was falling into bed at night utterly exhausted and emotionally worn out. For so long, I’ve said, if just this was different, life would be easier for me. I looked at other people’s lives and thought … she couldn’t do what I do everyday. I tried to pump up my own tires, hoping that I’d wake up the next day feeling differently. Don’t get me wrong; I love my children and my life, but I just wanted one day where I felt like instead of just surviving I was actually doing something more. It had been such a long time since I felt that I wasn’t sure I’d remember what it would be like. I’ve taken the last couple of months to work on that feeling. To find my balance. I realize that this crazy life isn’t going to change – and truth be told – I don’t want it to. I want to change how I react to it every day.

Finding balance is something that I’ve needed for such a long time and only now am I realizing it. Instead of focusing on just surviving I try to focus on thriving. And, I say try, because it’s something I work on each day. Instead of focusing on the negative, I try to find the positive in each day. What I know for sure is that the old cliche that life is short is so true. Life is also what you make of it. Through this process I have learned so much about myself that I didn’t know or didn’t believe before. I am capable of much more that I ever thought I was. I get up in the morning and look at my kiddos and think wow, I am blessed! They are healthy enough to spit on my floor, climb on my kitchen table, and run around the house like little hooligans. Truly, I am blessed! I wake up every day and work out and fuel my body with foods that I know will help me instead of hold me back. I’ve taken time out for me. What I’ve realized is that ‘time-outs’ aren’t just for kids – they are what every Mommy needs. Take the time out of your busy life to realize that you are worth it. You have only one life … why not give it your best?

I’m finally at a place where I feel like all the changes happening in my mind and body over the last couple of months have been so worth it. I have focus and energy. I’ve lost extra weight I’ve been carrying around. Most importantly, however, I’ve filled my mind with positive words like, I can and I will. So, just as I have changed my mindset, you will see changes to my blog. And well, if it’s not your cup of tea, then I respect that. I will continue to grow and change … because you know what they say … change is good.

Loads of Gluten Free Love,

Jenny

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A Little of This and a Little of That …

I’ve survived the Christmas season. Why is it that we make Christmas cray cray crazy? Seriously … why?

This year I tried really hard to make the whole Christmas experience magical and less crazy for our kids. In case you’ve forgotten, I already live that most ridiculous lifestyle … I’ve got four kids, and a husband who’s away half the month for work. Yes, coffee is my fuel most days. I survive on it. I used to be one of those people who only enjoyed coffee occasionally and never past 3 pm. If I drank it too late, I could most definitely count on being awake until the wee hours of the morning. Now, coffee is in my blood stream for most of the day and into the evening. When I do manage to hit the pillow at the end of the day, I am utterly exhausted. So, sure, I’ll have another cup. Anyway, I digress, back to the Christmas season talk….

So, hubby was away for work most of the Christmas break. He’s got the most glamorous lifestyle. He’s a commercial pilot and pretty much everyone I meet says … “oh you’re so lucky to be married to a pilot” and my all-time favourite stranger comment is “oh you must travel ALOT and get great deals!”  Ok, let’s just take a moment and think about those two statements. Yup, I’m lucky, blessed, fortunate … whatever you want to call it … to be married to my hubby, but not because he’s a pilot. I’m all those things because he’s an all around amazing guy (I could go on an on about him, but ya didn’t come here to hear all that sappy stuff!). Seriously people, give your head a shake. He’s a pilot … it’s his work. He flies you to your most amazing beach getaway and then turns right back around and comes back. He doesn’t stay and if he does, he stays in a hotel room, sleeps, eats, tries to recover from the 3+ time zones he’s been through in a day, all so he can get up and do it again. Oh yes, and let’s not forget to mention that he misses most holidays, if not all of them, because he’s busy working. And as for the second comment … We have four kids, hubby works full time and I also have a real job, so finding time to travel is unheard of.  Sorry, once I again I digress. Anyway, back to Christmas talk. Hubby worked. Santa had to make an early pit stop on the 22nd … the kids wrote a lovely letter at the beginnning of December explaining the situation and Santa once again came through with an early Christmas. Oh yeah, let’s not forget to mention he was gone over New Years as well. So, making our Christmas season less crazy was my ultimate goal. What I really try hard to teach my kids is that Christmas, and most other holidays, isn’t about gifts, it’s about being together with those you love. I think this year we did a great job of doing that. We spent our early Christmas together and then enjoyed extended family homes on the actual Christmas day. Christmas was lovely, but I’m glad to get back into routine. O and C thrive on routine. And really, so do the twins. Now that they are back to school and our routine is back, things are going a lot more smoothly. Christmas was as mellow as we could make it, and that made me happy.

Our kids keep us cray-cray most of the year. When strangers ask me if I have kids I just want to scream …. CAN’T YOU TELL FROM THE BLACK CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES! I can most definitely say having twins is one of the hardest, most exciting, fun (and mostly crazy) experiences of my life. You can’t even imagine my life … it would be easier if you just came to help out. You know, witness it first hand. Seriously, message me … I need all the help I can get! The next time you see a twin mom out and about, bite you tongue and resist saying all those comments that pop into your brain … I can guarantee they’re probably ridiculous (I’ll let you know in a different blog post all the stupid things strangers have said to me), she’s heard them before and she most certainly doesn’t have time to have idle chit chat with a stranger … instead buy her a coffee. That’s what she needs the most. Coffee ….

So, until next time ….

Sending you lots of gluten free love with a side of twin love,

Jenny

 

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