I’m sorry…it’s been far too long and it seems as though every post I write starts with an apology. I’m sorry about that. Oops, there I go again;)
My life is mostly crazy and for those of you who know me personally know that it’s actually always crazy. Having four kids and a hubby away half the month will do that I guess. Not to mention, having twin boys who are now toddlers. Toddlers that like to try everything, throw everything, spit on everything (am I alone on this one?!?), stand on everything, hit each other, bite each other and well, basically, you get the picture right? Also, two older children who are involved in sports and school and are just as busy as the younger two but in a much more organized and civilized way. Am I painting a delightful picture for you? Most people think that being married to a pilot is a glamorous lifestyle … if you still think that … read above just one more time. And, to think that half the month I am the lone soldier on the field. I’m the one putting out all the fires … ALONE. Now, don’t get me wrong, my hubby is my best supporter. He is my rock and is always cheering me on. But really, it’d be better if he could also join me out on the field more often so I wouldn’t feel outnumbered most of the time. Needless to say, I was lacking balance in my life.
Balance … what does that even mean? In amongst all the chaos I always felt like my life was spiralling out of control. Do you know the feeling of celebrating just making it through the day? I was falling into bed at night utterly exhausted and emotionally worn out. For so long, I’ve said, if just this was different, life would be easier for me. I looked at other people’s lives and thought … she couldn’t do what I do everyday. I tried to pump up my own tires, hoping that I’d wake up the next day feeling differently. Don’t get me wrong; I love my children and my life, but I just wanted one day where I felt like instead of just surviving I was actually doing something more. It had been such a long time since I felt that I wasn’t sure I’d remember what it would be like. I’ve taken the last couple of months to work on that feeling. To find my balance. I realize that this crazy life isn’t going to change – and truth be told – I don’t want it to. I want to change how I react to it every day.
Finding balance is something that I’ve needed for such a long time and only now am I realizing it. Instead of focusing on just surviving I try to focus on thriving. And, I say try, because it’s something I work on each day. Instead of focusing on the negative, I try to find the positive in each day. What I know for sure is that the old cliche that life is short is so true. Life is also what you make of it. Through this process I have learned so much about myself that I didn’t know or didn’t believe before. I am capable of much more that I ever thought I was. I get up in the morning and look at my kiddos and think wow, I am blessed! They are healthy enough to spit on my floor, climb on my kitchen table, and run around the house like little hooligans. Truly, I am blessed! I wake up every day and work out and fuel my body with foods that I know will help me instead of hold me back. I’ve taken time out for me. What I’ve realized is that ‘time-outs’ aren’t just for kids – they are what every Mommy needs. Take the time out of your busy life to realize that you are worth it. You have only one life … why not give it your best?
I’m finally at a place where I feel like all the changes happening in my mind and body over the last couple of months have been so worth it. I have focus and energy. I’ve lost extra weight I’ve been carrying around. Most importantly, however, I’ve filled my mind with positive words like, I can and I will. So, just as I have changed my mindset, you will see changes to my blog. And well, if it’s not your cup of tea, then I respect that. I will continue to grow and change … because you know what they say … change is good.
Loads of Gluten Free Love,